Monday, June 11, 2012
"You ate when?"
Friday, June 8, 2012
I know surgeon’s insist upon visiting their patients after the job is done to explain what happened. But I’m not so sure it makes much sense since we’re just coming out of an anesthisiac haze. I’m sure he told me how well it went, what I should be doing during the recovery and probably answered a couple of questions I posed…but I don’t remember any of it. I did find that I was grasping a set of instructions when I came to on the ride home, though.
I’d gotten up early that morning and gone to the park for a final Survival Workout. I figured I’d have to hold off on lifting heavy things for a week or so after surgery and pushed hard to make it a good one. It was, and it offered some unusual circumstances, as well.
I had just hit the ground from climbing the swingset when I saw a red-tailed hawk come swooping down between the pine trees in which the playground was set. He was clearly targeting something on the ground at the base of a tree, flashing talons as he descended. Suddenly, a squirrel burst around and up the pine and the safety of the branches above, screeching as he went. The hawk took to the air and slowly circled the tree but was no match for the squirrels speed. He retruned to a perch twenty feet away and waited for a second chance. When it came, it was a second squirrel who seemed to know he was watching and was tempting the fates. The hawk attacked again, and like the first squirrel, he scampered round the tree and just out of the reach of the talons.
We’ve all seen squirrels play this game with passing autos. Run out in the road, turn, turn again, and then…splat. They aren’t very good at their daredevil games and I’m thinking playing with a hawk isn’t much brighter though I suppose that’s where the term ‘squirrelly’ comes from. Anyway, the hawk finally gave it up and flew away, so this time it worked.
I was being attacked throughout the workout by persistant deerflies, too. I made seven kills and left the remains smeared on my body to discourage further attacks. If I approached a human and noticed they had body parts laying at their feet, I’d turn and go the other way. Deerfly…like squirrels…don’t register the signals. What can I do? I squish them.
I finished my workout and drove to Patterson’s Fruit Farm to grab a bag of apples and cider for my smoothies. I always buy the seconds…imperfect apples that cost about half the price…but they didn’t have the variety I normally purchase. They did have Fuji’s and I asked if I could sample one. I know what they taste like…but I was intereested to find out how firm they were. The attendant cubed an apple and handed me a sample. I popped it in my mouth, chewed and swalowed before what I had done sank in. I was scheduled for surgery in four hours and wasn’t to have eaten anything after midnight. Oops.
I arrived at the Chardon Surgery Center at 1 p.m. and during the check-in, confessed to my transgression. When I was escourted into the surgery area, Iwas greeted by an anesthesiologist who said, “so you’re the hungry one?”
“I wasn’t hungry…I was just stupid,” I said in defense of my stupidity.
“Tell me it was four hours ago,” he said.
“It was four hours ago,” I said, knowing it had been only three but that it would be over four by the time he juiced me for surgery. Besides, it was such a tiny piece!
It also got me to thinking. If I’d have been scheduled for surgery at 8 a.m., they’d have cut me off at midnight. Or 10 a.m., or 2 p.m. as I was. Logically therefore, they didn’t need much more than four hours on an empty stomach and the poor people scheduled for afternoon surgeries were just made to suffer longer without food. In any event, he seemed to think it would be okay, which was a huge relief since I didn’t want to put the surgery off any longer.
I didn’t really wake up until about 5 p.m. back at home and in my recliner. I was holding my cell phone and tapping out texts that the surgery had gone well. I could see I’d received a couple of calls…and apparently spoken to the callers…but had no recollection of the conversations. Kind of like my normal evenings with Holly. I didn’t seem to have any pain to speak of and so I opted to pass on the medication. I was even thinking I should get on the bike and take a ride to the corner…I was sure Lance would have…but passed out again and didn’t wake until after dark. Probably a good thing.
Survival Workout: 60 minutes.
Training Heart Rate: 100-150.
Calories burned: 600.